Day 44

The day that I didn't give in. Its the next day already. My body feels it, my mind is just ignoring it, and the clock is showing like a pregnant woman leaking white butterflies on chest and providing the grass beneath her its watery sustenance. But I want to write this because I don't want time to pass me by. I don't want to be an onlooker to my life, a third-party candidate to what should be my story. So I'll just write dazed and confused as Maha (the Egyptian woman who has been whispering sweet nothings of Arabic in my ear. To her she is explaining something about her family and studies in basic Arabic. To me... she is explaining her undying love for me and how my eyes shine like the glistening sweat off of a pig in heat in the summertimes of Boise.)

I digress.

Today I came across a strange feeling in class, the emotion of jealousy. Since I'm working on my story-telling abilities I will provide you a beginning, a middle, an end, and a reason.

I have classes Monday to Friday, from 9 to 1. I sit in a classroom with 10 other people and develop spacial relationships with the individuals to my immediate surroundings. The girl on my right is getting annoying. Loud and Needy. The girl on my left is interesting, shes intelligent and logical, and funny. The girl to her immediate left is within the same vein of "coolness". Our class goes into pairings often, and I know the left-girl enjoys my presence, yet she chooses to work with left-left-girl... leaving me stuck with righty.

Its been a week and two days, yet I have this feeling of extending a hand of friendship. Something that has definitely been accepted by both left-girl and left-left-girl. But... not to the same magnitude. We don't get coffee dates. We don't text one another.

I'm fucking CRAZY.

I shouldn't care. I don't want to care. Jealousy is as unhealthy as deep-fried lard sprinkled with confetti sugar but served on the side of a salad (to make it a healthy choice). Anyways, I encountered this feeling. I needed to let that out so I can analyze my thoughts about it and "get over it" My head doesn't agree with my mind sometimes.

What are you feeling right now? As long as you don't say seething anger.. I'm happy.

Day 43

'Nuff said. Her face got stuck at such a perfect time....

Her face makes you feel _________ ?

My answer:

Uncomfortable ;)

Day 42

Hello my countrymen. Today was Pride Day here in San Francisco. The level of gayness reached a point when random rainbows would appear sans rain and dewy mist. There were gay men, women, and those that associate with a gender here in the city showing off their sexualities and support of.

That being said, it seems almost expected that I'm supposed to be excited about it. Aka, getting ready and looking good so I can go see the sights and be part of the culture/experience. But I didn't... and I don't really know why. I feel like I should have at least gone a little bit out of my way, considering all the festivities were a block away from my apartment, to see what all the hoopla was about. However, I've been in a rather strange mood. My uncle came back today and I have a test tomorrow, so I guess I used/vindicated those reasons for my absence (both physically and mentally) from the festival and parade. I guess I sort of used cleaning and studying as a scapegoat, but in reality I'm just not feeling it. I'm not necessarily in the best of all moods today.

I hope to God its not because I'm a spiteful bitch and I don't want to see certain things (mostly happy gay couples)... but I think in reality that hits closer than anything else I can really think about. I like having my freedom and my bachelor life in a sense, but I still feel a little .. hollow I guess. There's this lack of a central theme or story in my life right now. I work, I learn, and I struggle. But there isn't this overarching story. Something cohesive. Something beautiful that brings the angst/pain/happiness.

I may be comparing unfairly to my happenings last year, I had a wonderful summer in NYC, and I guess I was just hoping to recreate or live something better than that. I'm not dense enough to believe that things will be the same, but I wanted something comparable. I like what I'm doing here, I'm happy with where I am and who I am. It's just that it pisses me off to believe that this day would make me a little sad. I don't want to believe that I can't be happy by myself and that I am in need of something that I cannot provide myself. I don't like phrases like "You complete me" because on the flip side of that, you're only admitting that you weren't whole to begin with. I know/trust/wish that I am a complete person, which makes what I feel a little bit of an annoyance to me. Obviously, one can't control their emotions, but I am not the type of guy to let them hinder my life in any way... But I can't honestly say that it isn't right now.

I should be studying right now, the coffee store closes in a bit, but instead I'm here. I don't even know whats wrong with me. I was speaking to one of my close friends the other day, and he was bemoaning my single life/lack of companionship (in a sexual sense). He hated my false modesty and my apprehensive personality. I know for a fact that these past few days I could have sparked something if I put on a little effort (there have been occasions when I catch people doing dirty things to me with their eyes, and there have been moments when my own terrible eye movements have been caught and reciprocated). Yet, I seem to cling onto this very prude, or conservative, or maybe just safe, concept of what a relationship is supposed to be. I believe in a very traditional sense of a relationship. Aka, the first meet-up (which doesn't consist of meeting online, on the street, at our local mall, etc), then the dating, then the relationship, then the sex after.

I get emotionally attached really quickly, and fall out of it ever so slowly. I've never "fallen" in love. Though I still believe in it. I just.. really don't know sometimes.

Oh, so Damon. When or if you ever read this, that is why I didn't see Pride until 6:30 at on the second day. Because I'm emotionally unstable, but I didn't want to say anything, remember? I'm working on the whining. haha :P

*sigh* I'll work on life another day.

How's your life going?

Day 41

Day 40

So the first week of classes is over. Hallelujah. I am now finished with the Arabic alphabet and can I can now say "Large chicken"...

Movin on up. Thats all for today my gentle people. I have work, buhhhhh. 20 hours a week of folding clothes. I feel closer to my mother everyday.

PS. I living near the Capital Building. Always seems like someone out there has *something* to complain about. Always always. I heed the words of two very wise philosophers..

Hakuna Matata.

Just be happy. Whats the point of complaining all the time?

Day 39

AhhHhhhh this song will not stop haunting me. I've tried killing it by putting it on repeat and jamming my heart to it... but its still here. Bligey, just let me be!

How do I get songs out of my system?

Day 38

Honestly just trying to catch up right now....

But on the menu for tomorrows discussion/avoidance of homework and the like: Why my friends are so different these days, feeling disconnected, the annoyingness of whining, and communication.

Then I should be all caught up. Lets do a celebration. Lets light up like we all have a choice. Ps... all these pictures are mine from a wonderful and aging camera phone, and a pinch of photoshop love.

Feedback on how I'm working/failing this blog?

Day 37

Life is a __________?

My personal answer:

Life is a hot mess.

Day 36

First day of classes! Ahhh, the class moves so fast. Apparently by the end of the week I will have "learned", learned being the operative word there, the entire Arabic alphabet. I'm hella excited. I think I want to write about communication, languages, and the modes of human expression later. I know sounds hefty, it'll come if I don't become lame later on.

What I actually wanted to talk about today was something that I have encountered many times in my life. In all honesty, I'm not trying to be some major philosopher, nor do I believe what I say is something ground shaking, earth explaining, soul revealing. Just some thoughts.

In my experiences I get into these moods when I feel like writing, when I feel like I actually have something interesting to say, something valuable to contribute to this world. But these moments are definitely not the norm in my life. These moments are brought on by strong moments of deep self-perception and a general sadness/hollowness/sadness. There are very few moments in my life when I'm deeply satisfied with the way my life is going, and no, I'm not pandering for pity or even bring attention to that. What I mean to say is that when I am remotely happy, or excited about something, I can't seem to access what I'm thinking. I become focused on what the moments are, in very quantifiable and sequential terms. I don't start to think about what I am doing, what it means, how I feel about it, and where it falls in the spectrum of my life story...

Why is it that I have to be sad/lonely/generally not happy before I can have moments of introspection. I don't want to generalize this feeling to the general populous, however, why does it affect me so? I feel like the greatest artistic works come from deeply troubled individuals, people who have lived pain, who have suffered and found themselves, enough to make magic with thier life. That's not to say that happiness is a burden to creativity, yet the people that I admire the most either ripped of parts of their ears, died lonely old men, or became suicidal in ovens.

Or to bring it to the present. Over-emotive individuals who churn out the masses of music and writing after major breakups.

I don't know. My summer is shaping very oddly right now. Bruhh...

When do you feel the most... honest with yourself?

Day 35

First real shift at Lucky!!

It started off slow but later on that shift I was able to help a customer, he was a nice guy looking for some light pants for his trip to Bali, but regardless of his reasons he ended up paying around $500. I'm not trying to flaunt my salesmanship per se (one of my managers for example convinced a girl, who had come to the store to buy just one pair of pants, ended up leaving with about $1,400 worth of merchandise....) heh.

It made me think about all the wasted time and money I have spent (especially in high school) in the mall. I feel like my life could be exponentially better if I didn't have such vices...

The cat got the lion cut. She is now bearable to look at, her bitchiness is now dialed down a tad.

Day 34

Hi friends. I just wanted to put my two cents in here. I don't mean to be antagonistic in anyways. There is no way that an educated or informed individual in this world's populous is unaware of what is going on in Iran right now. I believe that condescending views are dangerous to progress. So this is how I see it, and where problems arise, with as little judgement on my side as possible.

That being said....

• I condemn any kind of violence against peaceful protesters and those who wish to express themselves politically. But it is when these protestors start to throw rocks and become a belligerent mob that my feelings on violence change.

At this point in my life I don't know how I feel about retribution, especially since there are so many actors in the world and retribution almost never equals what was done in the first place. The terrible and unproductive mentality of you hurt me, therefore, I will fuck you up and make you feel my pain times x. However, I don't believe that if you are acted against by an unfriendly party, you should just lay there and take it. Pride is a noble, dangerous, and very human aspect.

• Freedom of voice is an important and basic human right. I don't believe that the crackdowns against the Iranian public is ethical. But voices are never the same volume.

The media always has a large influence on any issues. There is a plethora of information out there and it is their role to select what they want to publish. Twitter/Facebook/internet are great outlets. But you have to understand that is not completely what Iran, as a country, is feeling. There are millions of people out in the countryside, a more conservative region in general, without access to a computer much less the internet. It is the younger and urban generation that is getting more of their voices heard. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it is an unfair situation. Secondly, there are rallies out there proclaiming their joy of Ahmadinejad's disputed win. Do you see coverage of that?

Image of a rally/protest for Iran's public in SF.

• The results and consequences are important to the world, and there are many countries out there with a vested interest in making sure that Iran ends up in a certain way. It's a small step to having these interests and actually doing something about it.

There is a lot of tension around Iran obviously, but I get annoyed when people simplify the issue or are so blatantly one-sided to enact any kind of action. Writing off an entire faction or side because of your inability to understand or accept makes you a fool. From my studies, the Middle East has experienced a lot of trauma in its very fragmented/long history. There have been many instances in which the right of sovereignty or the right of self-determination is circumvented for various political reasons. I don't support having other countries interfere in the political process of Iran. You may not like what's going on over there, it may or may not be right, but that does not give permission to go over there and dictate your views on them.

• Burqa's as symbols.

But it depends on who that person is, who you are, the meaning behind it, the choice of it, etc. Sarkozy, the President of France, recently banned full body burqa's in his country. Now I can try to understand where he is coming from, France has many precedents and a slogan that emphasizes assimilation into a very French culture. He did it because he believes that burqa's are a sign of women's oppression. While I believe that, I know that there are some women out there that would say otherwise. For example, during the revolt against the shah in Iran, women donned on head scarves in support of a more religious government.Taking away their rights to express themselves is still taking a right away.

How do you feel about it?

Day 33

So I have been thinking a little about the progress/purpose/life of this blog. In the beginning I had written it to write about what I did daily. It was alright/amazing in the beginning because I was new to the city. I had the freshly-here feeling. The feeling that I could conquer everything, and since everything was new, there were so many amazing things to do and see. Life does change though and I have to roll with it. Things get old. Places get common. And sights become background. I have a good month stint of exploring the city for what I could. A very basic, pedestrian, and under-aged style of exploration.

What's left now is to dig a little deeper. Jab a little more into the instances of what life is. Get the cherry cream beneath the frosting if you may... I have already nested for now. And by next week I start classes, work, and more interning. So life will become repetitive in an objective way. However, I always believe my experiences to be more than what happens. A shift of perspective. Just letting you know. :)

May the travels/life/happiness continue.

God willing. in shaa' Allaah.

Day 32

Cal Academy of Sciences!!

It was a free day... so what do broke/dorky college students do? They go to free museum days and art galleries :)

Here are some pictures.. I have nothing important/funny/interesting things to say just yet. Maybe I will one day.

Day 31

Hahaha... sorry I couldn't resist. I know, glam shot. I know, photoshopped (only a little...). And I know... I look like a tool. Still couldn't resist.

So if we get your friends...

And I get my friends....

And we be friends!

Do this every weekend. :)

And now... introducting the one thing that ruins my life. Aside from the computer of course. You're reading this right now and wondering what else I could be complaining about. I'm talking about the Television. From the beginning of this summer, I have said that I wanted to escape from the grasps of television. Just because my productivty just drops to almost zero when its on. I'm not trying to be a luddite here, its just that if I didn't have any of these empty procrastinating tools, I feel like I would be so much more in my life right now. I mean I would obviously find other ways to escape my work, but they would include doing something with my hands (ugh.. you dirty dirty people, not that) aka draw, read, converse with people... something that might actually get me somewhere in life as opposed to sitting there mindlessly.

The problem is that I don't have as much control over its activity level. If someone wants to watch television, its right there for them. And I don't have as much self control as some people who can avoid looking at it.. Last summer I had no television and I was able to absorb some crazy ass books but now.. nothing. Toni Morrison is ready to smash my face in with her Nobel prize if that accomplished me actually reading her book. I will get done with it!! New goal, just fresh from the decision maker. I will finish this damn book by next week. Wednesday. Promise.

Do you know any good books to read?

Day 30

So I don't quite remember what I did today. Wait.. it's coming to me. Oh.... I got kicked out of several establishments today as I tried to finish some of my work. heh, first my own apartment because of an irate relative, then the main library cause they don't like to cultivate thinking by closing its gates on the mentally curious late at night, then Peets coffee cause they hate me.

So I ended up working on one of those brightly-colored couches that are mainly there for aesthetic reasons while having no actual comfort level. This is when my country joined civilization.

Where is my Romeo/Juliet?

Day 29

First day of interning work today!

While it may not be as mundane as coffee hunting and all that hoopla, I nonetheless am bored and way in over my head with this work. I would share it all up here for the interweb to see, but you know it goes, legal jargon prevents me from actually sharing anything.

Its alright, its just boredom deepfried in a whole lotta waste of time and maybe sprinkled with a little hard work.

Heres some random organic food to look at.

Interesting. Ain't it? :)

Question: Whats the best fruit to microwave?

Day 28

I was trolling through facebook and I noticed on of my facebook associates had posted a video. Follow the youtube path long enough you find something menial to get you through the next couple of conversations.
I personally love philosophy. I don't have a knack for it, nor the writing capabilites, but I still try. Not to conceptualize or contextualize what I'm feeling into words easily associated and understood, but rather just conversation. I like to talk.
So I guess I will continue from where he trails off into. He puts the world into this stark view of fear or laziness. Self-created walls and obstacles to what you can accomplish. I understand what he means, but I have very little patience for notions of doom and gloom. I value insights into life, but I think that without efforts into progress, these conversations become mindless babble. There must be application.
Or course you could argue that philosphers are needed to drive the engine. Theory vs. Action. But neither can exist by themselves. So the happy medium is supposed to be something that lies in between. Could his message be interpreted as an effort to move the modes of thinking of each individual into something concrete? To revitalize the mind in an effort to spark some kind of movement. To change the status quo of what holds us behind. Or to even change our daily-empty-ant routines and to instill a little thought into what we do, why we do it, why we continue, how we actually live our lives. Is he prescribing to move to the center of things?

Day 27

This is just me writing freely for now. Updating later.

So I get in these kinda sad/mellow moods sometimes. I'm not the type of person that thinks being sad or depressed is necessarily a bad thing. Especially since many find creative thoughts and feelings out of it because of it, and I think for someone to truly experience the highs and happinesses (<- I choose that to be a word) of life the individual needs to know how tough and bad things can actually get.

But the problem I have with these rollercoast emotions are that I believe that my own mood swings are partly if not a hugely affected by very shallow things. Meaning I feel that I go through these upswings and downswings based purely on my own thought processes and not through externalities. Like I make myself feel sad. Or I have moment where I say, "Yah man (not that I say man on a regular basis), I'm totally gonna get this shit done!! I'm going to do X, Y, Z, and the go back and fuck up the first parts of the alphabet that never seem get mentioned".

These little spurts of excitement for life changing and drastic measures are great and all, but because of how flat they feel, or how superficial and created they actually are, they don't last very long.

Then I get in these moods where I just have this feeling in my chest, like this ache... For reasons that shouldn't even affect me. I can't seem to be the people and persons that I admire. I can't live up how I percieve them to be, and that just makes me sad. I have issues about my height. And that's a problem because I have already intellectualized the problem .. several times. I've done the notions that its not me, it society that dictates things. Its the media. Its genetics. But there still is a palpable reality in everything and thats what always gets me down. I just, I just don't know sometimes.

I gotta go back to work. Heres a picture of a naked bike run I saw today, and by today I mean almost a week later. I was going to put little yellow walmart smiley faces on the scandalous parts, but they are too small to see... and that's not me being bitchy at all. ;)

I'm going to update the rest of the week before I go to work today (it's Friday). Hopefully there's a progression of moods. I can write about it longer later.

Question. What does the phrase 'chasing pavements' mean to you? And I don't mean what the song says about it, how do you personally interpret it.

Day 26

One of my major obstacles of having actual freedom with friends is having the option to do anything, which in reality really means eating and something else. Back in school/work when the hours are already plotted for you, it's really easy to just hang out. Aka, lets walk back home and chat. Or lets go to this event/lecture/class together. Or lets study together. Or lets suffer the boss together. But when you actually have hours and hours of emptiness, it seems to be a rush to fill the majority of it with eating and/or transit.

It would usually follow this pattern:

Me: What do want to do

X: Anything, what do you want to do

*insert 20/30 minutes of avoiding the subject before finally making a decision*

Me: Alright lets go

*insert large chunk of time of travel to get there*

Me after the happening: That was fun, lets go eat, I'm starving

*insert more time for travelling and eating*

You get my point...

It's not necessarily a diss. Because I would rather have a free flow of actions than a regiment followed to the T. It's probably me being indecisive as well.. So eh. :P

So on one of our walks we went to Chinatown for some grubs. (I was the obnoxious tourist taking pictures of the themed bathrooms.) As we entered the shown gate, this is what I saw. I hadn't actually noticed anything out of the ordinary and I was just taking a picture to catalog the whole experience. But I actually ended up taking a picture of something slightly interesting. As soon as I put down my phone, I thought it a little odd for the girls on the right to be so overdressed. Not dissing on Chinatown or anything, but they stood out a tad. So as soon as we start climbing the hill, it dawned on us that we were on a shoot. There was a huge crowd to the left huddled behind the warning fences looking at the action. Just these overdressed women climbing up the hill in expensive heels with Chinese food in their hands. And the dumbass tourist that was hopefully

caught in the shot so he can say he was in a movie... Just saying..

PS. I adore these dead/sleeping pigs. I have no idea what they could possibly do, but who doesn't want a prostrate ceramic pigs in their casa?

How do you make friends?

Day 25

Went out with some friends and played some pool. See the funny thing is, I had played pool a few days ago with my uncle/aunt/aunt's friend. And I had an ok time. It was most probably better than anything else I could have done at that point. But it didn't compare to how I felt when I was with friends. Now I know I'm not saying anything too profound here, but bear with me for a second.

Now... I'm going to sound like a whore for a second. Just warning you ahead of time. So one of my friends, lets name her Susan Boyle. She brought her boyfriend over with her, first time that I even knew Boyle had a boyfriend, much less a guy that cute. I was having a pretty good time before that (one hour in and only on the second game), but as soon as they had arrived, I had to keep averting my eyes.

I don't think you understand how attractive this male was. But obviously, he's Susan's boyfriend. So it would have been a tad strange if I had just spent the rest of the night giving him furtive glances when I thought no one was looking. But that's just a side note...

When is the joy of doing nothing replaced with the pain/boredom of doing nothing....?

Day 24

The days just get shorter and shorter and my accomplishments get smaller and smaller...

Well I was browsing through my pictures and I found out more things I did on Sunday! Its like the piecing together the night before the day after a major binge drinking session. Only this time, you can replace the crazy/wild night with days of sitting/walking around, and the day after with a week later. But that's not really that interesting...

I had went to a street fair on Sunday. Was goooood. Mmm, Look at the size of that meat.

And today. I had an interview with Banana Republic, but the second I had gotten out of the house (now mind you I was half an hour late to a luncheon with a friend because I had spent that time making sure my bangs swooped the right way), Banana called me and said that they *had* to reschedule me. Just because the building had shut down because of smoke inhalation or some shit like that. Just kidding... My head isn't stuck up there that far..

Now do as these salt/pepper shakers do and hug/love someone. Are you more likely to make someone grimace or back away? Are you more likely to crystalize or powderize? Are you more like to be white or black? Are you.. salt or peppah?

Day 23

First day at the job (Lucky Brand Jeans) today! I know... it's get out of your pants exciting. So I came in for training, which consisted of going through about ~50 pages. Doing the whole, sign here on the dotted line, read this 9 font text, sit in this uncomfortable metal chair, and watch training videos on how to assess customers by assigning them different jean shapes (pear, skinny, full...) without actually having the balls to mention thier shape in front of them.

Needless to say.... I almost fell asleep. It isn't like I'm not getting enough sleep. 10 hours should be pretty good, but yet, I sleep away.

Also, in slightly disturbing news, my boss/the woman who hired me as she fidgeted and bit her nails during the interview then proceeded to extend the "ill get back to you by this time" date by a whole week and calling about 4 times during; she made me sign a piece of paper that said, and I quote,

"I understand that I will be terminated July 18, 2009".

Signed it and bought a few grenades. Waiting for the robocops to come find me. Oh! That and finding another job in the interim. But bombs nonetheless.

This post is a mess.

What insulting body shape are you?

Day 22

Haha, so I fell of the bandwagon today. I had made a plan for myself, to abstain from playing

games, since I do have an addictive personality, so I could finally make some progress in my life. It went pretty well because I was able to get my jobs (law internship and denim retail) and my Arabic classes are shaping up nicely. Success and overall happiness however do not weigh up to playing a 10 year old game with other 10 year olds… Oh and my dignity doesn’t matter as well. :P

Anyways, I played, I conquered, I died an alien death, and I refused to grow up just yet.

http://dsc.discovery.com/convergence/engineering/archives/archives.html

Other aspects of my life that haven’t grown up just yet: My idealistic views on the future. I’m a big sucker for futuristic utopias and amazing technological feats. Obviously these concepts never seem to factor in the human element or the effect of society on these ideas. Everything just gets covered up in the majesty of these ideas. Regardless, I was enthralled by a Discovery program called “Mega Engineering”. It’s a show that highlights some contemporary problems of humanity and possible solutions. These range from updated NYC subways located 14 floors underground to a transatlantic magnetic subway that links London and Manhattan to a giant plastic dome over Houston.

As in love with these ideas as I am, it’s always disheartening to realize the folly of it all. If we can’t solve the simplest of problems (enter starvation/obesity and the subsidization of corn and Amtrak) what makes me think that we can solve these loftier goals. Politics is always in the way. China is obviously an exemption with its billion dollar budgets for the Beijing Olympics and the upcoming World Fair. Creating some beautifully large and complex architectural wonders. But what about everyone else? Is it all just the dream of overworked architects and poets?

Day 21

Land of the Lost was ... a bad idea. It may have had one or two good parts (mosquito one of the shining moments) but everything seemed very, Will Farrell. Not one of my favorite actors but eh.

Enter CGI-inspired/driven/coaxed out laughs and plastic alien suits.

Is it bad that the only valid memory I have of this day is this bad movie?.. What does that say about the rest of my day. :P

Day 20

I got hired today! Wooo :) Suck it 8.8% unemployment rate. I wish the rest of those unem

ployed find work soon. So I guess I should be saying.. suck it recession! I work for Lucky Brand Jeans, I'm not too big of a fan of thier clothing, but work is work right?

Movin on up.

I also went to an asian market. Sadly, I forgot to take pictures so I'll just enter some pictures of noe of my favorite treats. Meiji chocolate pandas. Panda's with chocolate love deep inside them as they strive for athletic capabilities.

So here I am waiting for my uncle, in between aisles of dead animals. Animals that were probably caught months ago, thrown unceremoniously on top of a pile of its dead buddies, flash frozen, and defrosted a few days ago as it tries to look appealing to the consumer masses. I'm pretty used to it, I kind of actually like walking around and seeing all the amazing types of sea creatures. As I turn my head though, to the wall with dozens of glass tanks with live animals, a woman was pointing towards one of the larger fishes. These animals were a good 1-2 feet long. Massive fishes with blood red gills. The butcher reaches into the tank, plops him on the counter, and then p

roceeds to give one definite bash to its head to kill it. The fish then spasms and goes into rigor mortis. Yummm. The woman at this point had become squeemish and turned away.

Would you still eat meat if you saw the entire process?